It has been a moment since I blogged! I always want to be the blogger that blogs every other day and shares my favorite holiday decorations or treats, but I'm just not. Maybe some day. So now it's been a month and a half since I last posted a blog... I am here now, though, and I am going to share with you why I am excited to say goodbye to 2017 and say hello to 2018!

2017 had some amazing things in store... I got engaged, got an answered prayer of a new job, and took my business with Free Citizen to new heights. This year had some amazing heights, but it also had some awful lows.

This year, I lost one of the most special people to me unexpectedly, my grandma. She was only 72 and she was said to be healthy. So I wasn't prepared to lose someone who meant so much to me. W and I also have taken on new transitions in our relationship and man has it been challenging. Getting married has been a huge challenge for me... it has tested my strength with loving someone no matter our disagreements and faults. There have been many times this year that W and I looked at each other like "what are we doing?!" when things got super tough. I know we are building our steadfast love for each other.. and it doesn't always feel good.

This year has shown me that I have much to learn when it comes to loving others. It's shown me that I also have a lot to learn when it comes to being humble and compassionate towards those who do things I don't agree with or understand. One thing is for sure, I have a whole new perspective on marriage and "get it" now when people who are married sometimes have moments when they wish they weren't LOL. Because it's HARD! It's definitely not for the faint of heart.

With the emotional and mental challenges I have experienced this year, it made me feel separated from God. I wasn't spending the time I used to with Him and I wasn't getting into the Word like I used to. I used to pray daily and I went to hardly praying at all. Which many would say "well, that is why things probably were getting worse".. well I know that but sometimes it's not as easy to pray as it sounds. Sometimes I would be so mad that I felt nothing to say or pray about. Or I felt so confused or hopeless I didn't know what to pray for. Or sometimes I was so disappointed in myself that I felt I couldn't ask God for anything (I know that's a lie from the devil but again, easier said than done in the moment).

So sum it up, there were a lot of twists and turns this year and my mental health was not always in the best spot.. so it made it so the tough things got more tough and the good things not seem so good. I literally could feel my mindset change... I usually was a super positive person who was optimistic and I would start seeing my mind shift to be negative and pessimistic. Again, I know the solve.. it's Jesus... but again, not an automatic response in real time... even if it should be.

That is going to change this year in 2018. This year, I am setting 3 resolutions that I believe if I do, will drastically change my life for the long term.

1. 1. Spend more time in prayer, and surrender my will to His. God is so sweet and always encourages me to talk to Him- even if it means I am screaming and shouting. I know I need Jesus... all day every day. He is my everything and my number one priority.. yet I let my #1 priority slide this past year. No more. I know God can do more in a moment than I can do in a lifetime so I am dedicating myself to not let Him work-- in me and around me. I realized in 2017 that I try to solve things on my own or "fix" things... when in reality I have little to no control. I am determined to turn my head knowledge of the Word of God to heart knowledge... to truly believe He can do miracles in my life and in the lives of those around me. I will remember than when I pray, it's not just words going in to the air, but words being heard by the All Knowing God. I am craving my faith to go to new heights.

1. 1.     Practice and experience the fruits of positive thinking. I read this book years back called the Power of Positive Thinking and it truly made a positive impact on my life. I believe believing for things and having a positive outlook will breed great things. In 2017, I let the negative things going on around me flood my mind and perspective. I'm taking back control of my thoughts, mind and faith this year.

1.  I have a deep desire to get disciplined with working out and healthy eating. It truly is a passion for me, but I let it fall to the way side too much. So using my wedding as motivation, I am wanting to work out at least 5 days a week and get back to my grain free ways.

It comes down to discipline. So maybe that is my word for me this coming year.

I am beyond thankful for every season of life. I am so thankful for how God is teaching me to be steadfast and build endurance. I am thankful to what every season of life teaches me... even when it doesn't feel good. I am thankful for how God refines me and reveals my rough edges... I truly am. It humbles me and it helps me to love others better... as weird as that may sound.

What is your word for 2018? Or what are you praying for this coming year? Tell me and I would love to be in prayer with you!

xoxo,

Aisha